Win My Love
by Windbritsle
Summary: Members of the StormClan Art Club are now terribly bored, so they decided to open a dating game show: "Win My Love"! But sometimes, things don't go as planned... (Story much better and funnier than summary! Rated T only because of whacking, arresting, cursing and trash-talking)
1. Episode 1

**_I am one author inspired by Tansyheart! Now, "Win My Love" Is officially up on ClanTV, just like "The Yellowfang and Nightcloud Show", "Win a Date with Nightcloud", and "Fastblaze's Game Show"!_**

**_Now, let's begin the fun!_**

* * *

"Hello everybody!" Windy screamed into the camera. "Welcome to... Win My Love, brought to you by StormClan Art Club! I'm the host, Windbristle! Call me Windy!" Crowd cheers.

"Now, let me introduce! This is Stormheart, cameramen and also founder of the StormClan Art Club!" Windy points at a golden tom.

"Co-host, Soulfire!" She points at a red tabby she-cat. Soulfire waved. "Hi!"

"And, the security guards, Lionblaze (Invincible) and Scourge (Super-Strong)!"

Crowd cheers. "Love you, Windy!" "Go Storm-love!" "Love your collar, Scourge!" And "Why are you stepping on my foot!?"

"In 'Win My Love', Five toms or five she-cats competes for a mate!" Windy announced. "They each have a lit lamp in front of them, and a button to dim the lamp!"

"And," Stormheart continued for her, "One opposite gender cat will introduce herself or himself bit by bit! If the five competitors don't like that cat, they dim the lamp, and that means he or she gave up the chance for a mate!"

"So after the intro, the one cat has to dim Lights until there is only one left!" Windy finished. "And he or she chooses between the remaining cat or the cat she likes the most!"

"Confusing, eh?" Lionblaze muttered to Scourge.

"I HEARD DAT" Windy growled. "But you will understand once we actually DO it."

"Well." Soulfire shrugged. "Well, let's have it for our first group of competitors!"

Clap, clap, clap.

"Who is it?" Scourge asked.

"It's Bluestar, Mistystar, Millie, Yellowfang and Silverstream competing!" Windy answered. Then she peered at the bottom of the sheethe where the "subject" section was. She tilted her head to the side and whispered, "Gonna need one tough cat to deal with this subject cat, though." Scourge puffed out his tiny chest. "Yes, ma'am!"

"Let's welcome the subject!" Soulfire clapped. A tom padded onto the stage and sat comfortably in his chair, and crossed his legs. According to the rules, he was wearing a mask and a cape.

"And the competetors!" Windy cheered as the five she-cat reluctantly chose seats. Bluestar took number 1, Millie took number 2, Yellowfang wisely took number 3 before Silverstream did so Silverstream took number 4 and Mistystar took number 5.

"I told you I'm hotter, so I deserve Gray-kins!" Millie hissed at Silverstream through Yellowfang.

"We'll see who's hotter by seeing who the subject chooses." Silverstream snorted. "Gray-bunny is MINE!"

"A-hem!" Scourge coughed.

Soulfire skipped up to the subject. "So, who do you like the most, just by looking?" She stuck out her ear, and the subject whispered a number.

Soulfire nodded, wrote it down on a slip of paper, then said, "Okay. Introduction part one: my traits!"

"Well..." The subject groaned. "I'm evil and cool, I like white fur, I like murdering... I guess that's all."

"Pretty good." Windy shrugged. "Now, competitors! You may dim your lamp or just stay put!"

"Well, I don't like evil cats, so BUMMER." Bluestar declared, then slapped the button in front of her. The first lamp in "Win My Love" History was dimmed.

"I can't lose to Silver-poo." Millie grumbled. "I'll pass." The first lamp in "Win My Love" History that wasn't dimmed!

"I've got enough evilness in my life!" Yellowfang shrieked, then lounged at the subject. "Hey!" Lionblaze and Scourge got up, tackled Yellowfang midair, paw-cuffed her, then Lionblaze sent her off while Scourge stayed. First arrested cat in "Win My Love" History... oh, I'm getting sick of this, so I guess I'll stop.

"Same thing as Millie said, but instead of Silver-poo, Millie-dung." Silverstream growled.

"Well... Evilness could be forced." Mistystar comforted herself. "I signed up for this show; Misty? Deal with it!"

"You_ signed up for this_ show?" Windy gasped. "Wait a minute. Stormheart," she addressed the cameramen. "Cut that part."

"Whatever." Soulfire shrugged. "Introduction number two: What others think about me. Name of subject are all taken out."

A huge screen in the back revealed a white she-cat, who must be Snowfur. "Oh, *BEEP* is just such a sweet cat!" she sighed dreamily. "I can't imagine a world without *BEEP*!"

Then, to everyone's surprise, Bluestar herself appeared! "I might not have made the best choice for *BEEP* to mentor Tigerkit, but *BEEP* is a worthy warrior." Then, as she went off the screen, Windy heard the one tiny whisper from standing next to the loudspeaker: "Not!"

Then finally... Tigerstar appeared! "Greatest mentor ever." He growled, then the screen went black.

"So." Soulfire smiled. "Any comments?"

"Well, since I'm out already, I can say anything, right?" Bluestar pokes at her dimmed lamp.

"Sure thing." Windy shrugged.

"Well, this cat is so TERRIBLY EVIL and I would NEVA EVA take his PAW!" Bluestar howled like a wolf even though she wasn't supposed to be able to and slapped her button like mad even though it was already pushed all the way to the bottom.

"Surrender, you fiend!" Scourge yowled and arrested Bluestar in 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000001 seconds.

"Will not!" Bluestar tried to struggled free, but Scourge strapped her to her lamp and grinned. "You'd have to finish watching this show!"

"Won't lose to Silver-poo!" Millie howled like a wolf even though she wasn't supposed to be able to just like Bluestar.

"Won't lose to Millie-dung!" Silverstream snapped, though much more like a lady. Well, a she-cat.

"Now, last part before the great lamp-dimming!" Windy announced. "Subject! take off your cape and mask, then tell us your name!"

The subject reluctantly obeyed, taking off his mask and cape only to reveal a "large, sleek, well-muscled, spiky-furred, unevenly mottled gray Tom with a white face, large, white shoulders, sharp amber eyes, long, yellow teeth..."

"SHUT UP WITH THE DESCRIPTIONS!" Windy screamed at Soulfire, who was apparently reading off her PawPad 3.

"Sorry." Soulfire stuck out her tongue. "Well, I need a bibliography. Wait as I go on EasyBib..."

"SHUT UP!" Windy howled like a wolf even though she wasn't supposed to be able to just like Millie and Bluestar. "NOW I HAVE TO DO A DISCLAIMER I DON'T OWN WARRIORS THE WARRIORS WIKI OR EASYBIB NOW SHUT UP SOUlFIRE BEFORE I ACTUALLY EXPLODE!"

"Okay, sis!" Soulfire whined, shealding her face from the endless-flying saliva from Windy with her poor PawPad 3.

"Am I... iGNORED!?" The large, sleek, well-muscled, spiky-furred, unevenly mottled gray Tom with a white face, large, white shoulders, sharp amber eyes, long, yellow teeth... Asked unfriendlily.

"No!" Stormheart squealed. "Thistleclaw, everyone! Everyone, Thistleclaw!"

Thistleclaw, the large, sleek, well-muscled, spiky-furred, unevenly mottled gray Tom with a white face, large, white shoulders, sharp amber eyes, long, yellow teeth... Nodded pleasantly.

"Still the same! Can't, won't wouldn't lose to Silver-poo!" Millie sobbed.

"Same thing back to you, but Millie-dung instead of Silver-pwetty!" Silverstream glared at her.

"Silver-PRETTY!?" Millie growled.

"Thank you!" Silverstream batted her eyeglasses (Oops, terrible typo). "I'm so _flattered!"_

"Mil-liiiiiiiiiieeeeeee?" Scourge growled. Suddenly, there was a scritch-scratch sound. Scourge turned around, only to see Bluestar trying to escape, with the lamp dragging behind her.

"Mah Lamp-baby!" Scourge cried, then burst into flames, and started whacking Bluestar with air. Don't ask me how.

"Well, I guess the show's gotta end!" Stormheart meowed worriedly, then cover the camera screen with his paw. "A shame that the first episode didn't end successfully!"

* * *

**_Because everyone deserves to know, I'm just gonna say: You can give suggestions to who the competitors are, and who the subject is! They can be son vs. mother, great-grandfather vs. great-granddaughter, same name cats, Ect._**

**_Plus, the story will go on with the subject taking turns being male, then female. So, not too much males and not too much females, thanks!_**


	2. Episode 2

_**Thank you Willowsmoke of ShadowClan for the submit! It will be put on in the next she-cat episode!**_

_**Now, let's join Windy, Soulfire, Stormheart, Lionblaze and Scourge in... Win My Love!**_

* * *

"Everybody! Welcome to... Win~ My~ Love!" Windy sang. "Now, for today's show, we have a female subject..."

"Rattlepaws!" Soulfire yowled as a she-cat padded onto stage, wearing a mask and a cape.

"...and male competitors! Rattlepaws for Brokenstar, Bramblestar, Firestar, Pinestar and Tigerstar!"

"All leaders! Yoo-hoo!" Lionblaze chirruped.

"Take a seat, competitors!" Soulfire announced. Brokenstar took 1, Pinestar took 2, Firestar and Bramblestar wisely sat in 3 and 4 before Tigerstar got near his kittypet dad.

"Settle down! Make yourself comfortable!" Windy squinted. The toms didn't bother moving at all.

"Whatever. Who's your favorite cat, just by looking?" Windy took out a slip of paper, and pen with the words "Windy rocks" On it, and padded over to the subject. The subject wrote down a number. Windy took the slip on paper.

Suddenly, there was a strong wind ("What? We're indoors!" Screamed Pinestar.) and blew the slip of paper away, right onto the camera screen. "Oh no!" Stormheart whipped the slip of paper off, but everyone watching from their TV saw the huge "5".

"My traits?" Soulfire asked tersely. "Wiry, stubborn, proud!" The subject replied.

"Well... Terse for terse, I guess!" Windy stuck out her tongue. "What do you say, toms?"

"I like proud cats!" Brokenstar announced. "Me too!" Tigerstar chipped in.

"Much like me when I was younger." Pinestar sighed.

"Well, not like it's my favorite, but it doesn't go against my likings, either. So I guess I'll just stay put." Firestar shrugged.

Bramblestar: "..."

"Next up is: What otters think about me!" Windy smiled. The big screen flashed... only to reveal an ACTUAL OTTER!

"Meh," The otter croaked in cat. "*BEEP* Like water, and she no hurt us, so I'm think she's nice very."

Then, a "Lean, sturdy, long-haired, mottled light brown tom with a pale chest, wide shoulders and..." Soulfire read.

Windy: "Groan..."

Anyways, the Tom, who turned out to be Mudfur, said, "*BEEP* was the only surviving kit in me and Brightsky's litter... *Sob...* I named *BEEP*-kit after the strong ancient clan so she could stay strong... And, apparently, she did and hopefully, she foreverly will... *Sob*"

Then, a cow appeared!

Windy: ?

DA Cow: "Moo."

Windy: "Uhh... Soulfire?"

DA Cow: "Moo... Moomoo?"

Windy: "Why did you put that part in?"

DA Cow: "Moo moo moo moo moo moo moo?"

Windy: "Is the cow MIMICKING me?!"

DA Cow: "Moo moo moo MOOMOOMOO moo?!"

Windy: "Ahhhhh! Soulfire, I will get you for this!"

DA Cow: "Mooooooo! Moomoo, moo moo moo moo moo moo!"

And... The screen went blank.

And... Windy blew up.

And... Toms blink.

Brokenstar: "Just like me! Sigh..."

Pinestar: "Whatever."

Firestar: "Uhh... I guess Sandy-honey is good enough." *Presses Button, lamp dims*

Bramblestar: "..."

Tigerstar: "So much like me, even though a bit less than Broken-friend!"

"Now, take off your mask and cape!" Soulfire announced. The subject obeyed.

Soulfire: "The subject is a sleek, dappled golden tabby she-cat with unusual black spots,..."

Windy: "A-HEM!" *Shoots killer glare*

Soulfire: *Gulp* "This is... Leopardstar!"

Brokenstar: "Le-Le-Leopardstar? How perfect are we together!" *Boosts self up by pushing on table* *Light dims* "NOOOOOOOO..."

Pinestar: "Uh, so much like my Leopardfoot..."

Firestar: "Hey, I'm out already, right?"

Bramblestar: "..."

Tigerstar: "Aww..." *Shakes head* "I like you a lot, but you had betrayed me..."*Presses Button reluctantly*

"Now, time for the light-dimming ceremony!" Windy cheered. "Leopardstar shall now go and dim one of the two tom's lamp! Either dim Pinestar's, or Bramblestar's!"

"Easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy!" Leopardstar declared, and padded confidently over to Pinestar. "I'd rather be with a HIPPO than with a KITTYPET!" She slapped his button. "Noooooooooooo Leopard-kinnykins!" Pinestar cried desperately.

Leopardstar nodded to Windy. "Now, Bramblestar, please come up!" Bramblestar proudly padded onto the middle of the stage. "And... Leopardstar's favorite cat of the toms, Tigerstar, come up!"

"Stand beside me, one on each side." Windy instructed the two toms. The two toms shuffled into position.

"Now, Leopardstar! Standing before you are two toms! Your favorite Tom, and the Tom that likes you most!" Windy gestured Leopardstar. "You either take Bramblestar's paw, or try to persuade Tigerstar into taking your paw. And Bramblestar also gets a chance of persuading you to take his paw."

"... Wait, WHAT? Fine... Don't take my paw! Squirrel-baby will kill me, and by kill, I mean KILL!" Bramblestar screamed in terror, the first time he actually spoke in the whole episode.

"I pick..." Leopardstar narrowed her eyes. "Tigerstar!" Bramblestar exhaled.

"Okay, Tigerstar..." Leopardstar blushed. "I'm mate-less, and I've always liked you... One of the reasons I agreed to form TigerClan." She took a deep breath. "Will you take my paw, Tigerstar?"

Tigerstar hesitated for a moment. "Can't say no, could I, Leopard-pwetty?"

"Tiger-plush!" Leopardstar cried, then hugged Tigerstar, then the two lovelies danced away, paw-in-paw.

"Well, happily ever after!" Stormheart shrugged. "Thank you for watching, and see you in the next episode!"

Scourge: _

Lionblaze: ToT

Scourge: We didn't get to punish any cat in this episode!

Lionblaze: Waaaaaaaa!

Scourge: Waaaaaaaa!

The security guards' chorus: *Sings* Waawaawaa, waawaawaawaawaaaaaaaaaaaa~~~~~!


End file.
